Are Your Tomatoes Firm?
by Tentaculiferous
Summary: It's an ordinary day for Sasha, getting her shopping done at Dauper's only grocery store, when she spots something new. The latest hire is downright heavenly, straight out of her dreams, and her name is Mikasa Ackerman. Unfortunately for Sasha, she's not the only one who's noticed the beautiful new clerk in town. MODERN GROCERY STORE AU, Mikasasha, Erejean, Connie/Armin. F/F, M/M
1. Are Your Tomatoes Firm?

A/N: So I've never written a modern AU before but someone on tumblr suggested the prompt: "mikasa/sasha grocery store au. like mikasa works as a cashier and Sasha gets that cliche crush on the clerk" and it was just such a neat idea I had to run with it. Though I have to say, I didn't know getting a crush on grocery clerks was a thing, so maybe it's not quite that cliche :P

Everyone in the fic, btw, is aged up to their early or mid twenties.

* * *

Titan Food was the only grocery store in the town of Dauper. It stood out from the other buildings downtown, reasonably spry in comparison to the aging brick storefronts that lined up across from it, sad and faded. It was long and freshly painted and well-lit, and Sasha loved going to it.

Inside it had vast heaps of fresh vegetables and fruits, and Sasha had never found a moldy tomato among the many ruby red offerings, unlike the one time she'd shopped in Yalkell. Sasha wrinkled her face just thinking about it; that had been a sad experience. So much food, so potentially delicious, but left to go overripe and rotten, or wilted and sad.

As she hefted ripe, firm tomatoes and gathered up fresh, crisp lettuce, all thoughts of the yucky grocery stores in other towns left her. She hummed as she headed for the dairy section where she picked out sour cream and a few containers of plain yogurt. As her natural joy at being surrounded by food built, she started whistling as she strolled through the pasta aisle, grabbing up bags of rotini (buy one get one free!). By the time she'd wandered into the largest meat selection in the county to pick out some steaks (she had stores of venison and pork, and kept goats, but she wanted nothing to do with the upkeep of cows) she was singing under her breath (or at least, she believed she was), and was working her way through her favorite songs that touched on her favorite subject: meat.

She was still singing when she arrived up at the checkout counter. There was no line; Sasha woke at dawn every morning and usually got her shopping out of the way be ten, before any store was crowded. The clerk waiting at the end of the conveyor belt was speedy; as soon as the customer appeared in her field of vision, she was spinning around and racing to her cash register.

As such, Sasha didn't see anything unusual about her at all, at first. Just the back of a slim young girl, clad in the usual black work pants, white button-up dress shirt, and green apron. Sleek black hair whooshed through the hair for a second, but Sasha was already grabbing up handfuls of food to stack on the conveyor.

The rapid beeping of the scanner made Sasha glance up. The cashier's hands moved in a steady blur, the packages of food barely having time to register their prices on the digital readout before another took their place, and the girl was somehow managing to bag them all the while.

That wasn't what made Sasha gape like a moron at the girl though.

Instead it was her face; seemingly expressionless but full of a gentle wisdom. Sasha could tell by the soft, relaxed curve of her lips that she was kind, the kind of girl that wouldn't hurt a spider, that would never utter a harsh word or a curse. She was full of laughter, love, and shyness. Sasha could practically see them together, running through fields of meadow flowers together, the girl's worshipful awe as Sasha revealed all the edible mosses and algae to her, her blushing, tearful face when Sasha bestowed that first chaste kiss on her lips...

Sasha was full of beautiful dreams. Unfortunately, reality had to intrude.

"Do you have your Titan Card today?" the girl asked.

Sasha quailed at that voice. It was dry, cold, and emotionless. The voice of someone who had never felt shy in her life, and probably didn't even understand the concept. It could not possibly belong to her dream girl!

The cold gray stare made Sasha feel like a deer that had been pinned in place by oncoming headlights. She fumbled with her wallet, finally pulling the slim green card with its absurd logo of a giant, naked sexless man and the letters spelling out "Titan Food" in a Gothic font.

The girl held out her hand (slim and delicate and _perfect_, Sasha's mind whispered) and Sasha's fingers trembled as she gave her the card.

The girl (Mika? Her long black hair was covering part of her name badge) efficiently swiped it through the register.

"You have two dollars in points. Would you like to use them today?" Mika asked. Her monotone voice was disturbing, as if she were utterly removed from the store and even the world it existed in. Sasha wondered if that was what minimum-wage work did to people.

"Er...yes! That will spare me paying for these potatoes!" Sasha gabbled on. She patted the bag of potatoes with frantic energy. God, she was being so weird and the worst part was, she knew it.

Without saying another word, Mika applied the points and printed the receipt, handing it over to Sasha and then walking by her and down to the end of the checkout aisle, to await the next customer.

Sasha stared after her, burning the image of this strange young woman into her mind. Her heart was pounding oddly hard, and so intent was she on the new cashier that she did not even notice the arrival of a familiar face.

"You want me to take these out, Sasha?"

"Yaaahhhh!" she yelped, and flung the bag of potatoes in her surprise.

They went sailing toward the head of the horse-faced young man she'd gone to school with, Jean Kirschstein. Fortunately for him, his reflexes were good. Instead of clobbering him right smack in the middle of the face, it just clipped him on the ear as he hastily dodged.

"What the hell Braus!?"

"S-sorry." Sasha apologized sheepishly.

Rubbing his ear, Jean tossed the sack of potatoes back in the cart and began pushing it toward the exits. Sasha opened her mouth to stop him, and then closed it. It wasn't like she needed one of the baggers to take her cart out—she wasn't a little old lady or a mom with a ton of kids and groceries—but it occurred to her that Jean might very well have the scoop on the cute cashier.

"So Jeaaaaaaan~" she began, as he began tying the bags off and putting them in the big toolbox attached to the back of her truck.

"What?" he asked distractedly.

"You gotta gimme the deets, c'mon."

"On what?"

"On that black-haired angel on checkouts!"

Jean slammed the toolbox, frowning.

"Mikasa? What do you want with her?"

"Oh, is that her name? Mikasa...Mi-ka-sa..." Sasha said experimentally, tasting the sound of the syllables in her mouth. She liked it.

"I don't know Jean. She's just like...there's something about her, you know? She's not like the rest. She's a once-in-a-lifetime girl, you can just tell." Sasha said dreamily.

Jean could tell. And he wasn't the only one, and neither was Sasha. In the two weeks Mikasa had worked at Titan Food, she'd already attracted quite a few admirers. He didn't need the idiot potato girl joining them. It was bad enough he had to watch that prick Eren Jaeger come in from the firehouse every day and pick her up for lunch. The guy didn't even give a shit; all he cared about was fighting fires. He didn't even appreciate that he was the only guy, out of dozens, that Mikasa would give the time of day.

"Don't waste your time. She's in love with some firefighter."

"Oh no!" Sasha was tearful. "Is he cute?"

"Fuck no-" Jean paused.

He had an idea. It was a rather mean, petty idea, he knew, but it wasn't like potato girl had a chance anyway. Might as well scare off some of the competition.

"He's _gorgeous_. Tall, dark, handsome...big intense green eyes."

It was all true. Sort of. Jaeger's eyes did bug out with intensity whenever he talked about fighting fires, and he was tall...compared to his side-kick Armin.

"Hehe. Sounds like you have a crush of your own, Jean." Sasha teased.

"Wha—Hell fucking no!" Jean snapped.

"What's this studly firefighter's name? I say we hook you up with him and...as repayment you can help me get Mikasa!"

"Shut the hell up Sasha!" Jean hissed.

To his horror, he'd spotted the little red economy car that belonged to none other than Armin Arlert, town librarian and amateur botanist. It was parked only a few spaces down, and the topic of discussion, Eren Jaeger, was shoving aside a potted tree to squeeze out of the tincan car of his best friend.

"Come on, I told you about Mikasa! You can at least tell me about the cute firefighter you've got your eye on!"

She was so fucking loud.

"I'm going to kill you!" Jean snarled.

He had to clench his fists tightly at his sides and remind himself that if he strangled a customer, he'd be out of a job.

Luckily, Eren was heading toward the grocery with his usual single-minded determination, utterly oblivious to anything but his goal. Armin though...was watching them and laughing behind his hand.

Jean groaned.

"I've got to get in there. You—just keep your trap shut. About all of this."

He shoved the cart angrily into the cart corral and sped inside.

"Good luck, Romeo!" Sasha called after him.

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Any feedback is loved 3


	2. Is Your Lettuce Dirty?

Back home, Sasha put her groceries away, humming all the while. She had a goofy smile on her face that was usually reserved for large and delicious high-quality cuts of meat. She'd met a beautiful goddess that morning and fallen head over heels in love, and what meat could compete with that? Though there had been that grade-A beef at the last county fair...

Once everything was put away, she wasted no time in texting Connie. Mostly to demand that he get over to the Braus residence NOW. She knew he was off work and she had to share everything with someone. Who better than her best friend and platonic other half?

"This better be good Sasha. I was watching the game."

"What game?" Sasha scoffed.

"Okay, so it was re-run, but it was still really exciting."

Sasha rolled her eyes. "Forget about that."

"Yeah?"

"Connie! I'm in _love_."

"Not with me, I hope."

"As if."

"Did the guy at McDonald's give you a free cheeseburger again?"

"Shut the hell up. And yes, but it's not him. I've met a _goddess_, Connie. A beautiful, black-haired angel named Mika~sa."

Connie looked skeptical.

"Yeah, I've heard of her. Jean wouldn't shut the hell up about her. He was even moonier about her than you. He actually used the term_ raven-haired_."

"Oh, I'm not worried about him. You know he's love with this firefighter guy? Jaeger, I think his name is? Like the booze?"

"I don't think Jean's gay."

"I wouldn't think he is either, but have you seen his hair?"

"What about his hair?"

"He has very homosexual hair."

Connie facepalmed.

"What's so great about this girl anyway?"

"You don't get it Connie. If you saw her, you'd know. There's just something about her. Grace, poise, so competent...like a modern day knight. A knight in shining armor."

"I don't know about that. Though apparently everyone's into her... Jean's been bitching about the swarm of guys hanging around the store."

"Ha! They don't have a chance. That's what I called you over for. Brainstorming. We're gonna come up with a plan. A plan that's so awesome, it's gonna make her melt right into my arms. 'Oh Sasha...'"

"Look, Sasha, just don't overthink it. You don't need some complicated 'plan'. Thinking's not your strong suit." Connie said.

"Pfft. And yours is?"

"No. Which is why I know that tricky stuff doesn't work for people like us."

"You make us sound like some kind of dunderheads."

"Well, we're no brainiacs."

"Well, _you're_ not, I'll give you that." Sasha said, smirking.

Connie ignored her.

"Hey, speaking of brainiacs..."

"Yeah?"

"There this brainy chick at the library who's been checking me out" Connie said with a grin.

"The library? What were you doing at a library, Connie Springer?"

"Hey, I read."

Sasha looked at him doubtfully.

"Okay, so I've been taking back my mom's weekly round of bodice rippers for her." he conceded.

"Anyway, this cute little chick keeps coming up to me and trying to shove books on me. I think she's into me."

"What does she look like?" Sasha asked, a suspicion forming.

"She's a little taller than me, but she's all skinny and twiggy. She's got short blonde hair, and these big blue eyes that are just adorable, like a puppy or something...and totally nerdy, but in such a cute geeky way...hey, why are you laughing?"

Sasha was doubled over, letting out peals of laughter so hard she could barely catch a breath. She pounded on the table, tears forming in her eyes.

"What the hell?"

"No, no, it's too good, I can't tell you."

"C'mon Sasha, what?"

She shook her head tauntingly.

"Spill."

"Nope."

He tried his best to get the information at her, but she wouldn't give. Never one to try too tricky of a solution, he went for a tickling attack in an attempt to get her to spill—Sasha hated getting tickled. She was extremely sensitive to touch, and he'd made her pee her pants once in sixth grade during an assembly. They'd both gotten detention for it.

With that in mind, the minute his hands went for her ribs she fled to the bathroom and locked herself in, refusing to come out.

He pounded on the door for a while, but she absolutely would not come out and risk being tickled. At a loss, he gave up and went home, the mystery of the cute library girl unsolved.

Sasha waited a while, standing on the toilet seat to peer out the bathroom window and make sure that Connie really was driving away, and wasn't coming back. When she was sure he was gone, she headed out into the foyer to get some good pacing going. She thought best while she was walking around rapidly.

She needed a way to let Mikasa know she was into her...that was direct and to the point. She knew she couldn't just walk up to her and ask—no way she'd manage to do that and not chicken out—plus all the lame-brain guys that were into her probably used such lazy methods. She needed something that would win her over, show her just how special she thought Mikasa was...

Sasha reached up on top of the old harvest gold refrigerator that had served the Braus cabin since the 70's. She knew she'd left a loaf of focaccia up there somewhere...There!

She tore off a hunk and shoved it in her mouth. It was while she chewing the cheesy herbed bread furiously that the idea came to her...bread! It was so obvious.

Nothing showed your love like a home-baked loaf of delicious yummy bread. It had been the way to win her heart back in high school; she'd always been willing to go out with anyone who bought her lunch...or dinner...or cookies at the bake sale. And despite what some people said, that did _not_ make her a slut...it was just that food naturally induced love in her heart. And maybe Mikasa was the same way? She did choose to work in a grocery store, after all.

She could give Mikasa the bread, and leave a note telling her how she felt. Giving someone a gift wasn't such a meaningful action that she'd back out of it, and she could run off so she didn't have to see Mikasa's face as she read the love-confession. Potential crushing rejection: avoided. Content at having found a solution, Sasha went to peruse her cookbooks for the perfect bread recipe.

After a while she settled on her grandma's old potato bread recipe. It was her absolute favoritist, and if it was good enough for three generations of Braus's, it should be good enough for Sasha's future wife.

Baking the bread though, was the easy part. She'd made the recipe a zillion times, she could practically do it in her sleep. She used her finest and freshest ingredients (she had just made a store run, after all) and wrapped the end product up elegantly in a little linen bread bag.

Writing the note...she sat down at the desk in the living room and got to work. Plain notebook paper should work... she didn't want to mislead Mikasa into thinking she was some kind of girly-girl, so she wasn't going to use the pink post-its that she had. With little pandas on them. Because okay, she did like cute and girly things _sometimes_.

"Mikasa, I made you this bread to show you how much I love you-"

Nope.

"Hey Mikasa. Um, I'm Sasha. I know you don't really know me yet but I want to know you"

Nope.

Soon she had a growing pile of balled up rejected notes, and a growing sense of frustration.

Finally, in a furious rush, she just scrawled one line across a slip of paper and darted over to the bread bag, shoving it in. With no time to chicken out and a determined expression, she snatched up the bag of bread and ran out of the cabin.

She only slowed down to set the bread in the passenger seat of her truck with great care, before picking up her breakneck pace and driving as fast as illegally possible to the grocery store.

hr

The words on the little note inside the bag ate at her as she drove, but she refused to back out.

In a sprawling, loopy careless scrawl, she'd written with her typical simple directness:

"I'm love with you. Let's date."

As she pulled into the parking lot of Titan Food, birds scattered to avoid the onrushing car. She double-parked, not even noticing, and ran toward the store. She was almost in the entrance, and could actually see Mikasa at the register, swiping a card, when she realized she'd forgotten the damned bread. She ran back, got it, and hustled back into the store.

Running up to the register, she ignored the looks everyone gave her as she tapped Mikasa furiously on the shoulder. The old man who was waiting for his receipt looked indignant.

Unable to look Mikasa directly in the eye, Sasha just thrust the loaf of bread into her hands.

"This! For you!" she said.

Then she ran out of the store as fast as she could, actually running into the doors as they failed to open fast enough to get her out, far away.

Behind her, in the store, Mikasa stared after her for a second, with a quizzical look. Then she dismissed the random craziness and set the bread bag off the side, and resumed her grocery duty.

Out in the parking lot, Sasha dove into her car, laughing hysterically.

She dialed up Connie.

"Connie I did it! I did it!" she babbled.

"Did _what_?"

* * *

The next morning, Sasha was absolutely positive she could never go into the grocery store again. Ever. She could never go into town again, either. Ever. Mikasa was there. Mikasa, who she'd told she loved her. In such an idiotic, simplistic, creepy way. Nope. Never again. She'd just live out in the cabin forever. She could nag Connie into buying her groceries and supplies for her. Because she would burst into flame and die if Mikasa ever set eyes on her again.

Pacing back and forth once again, she reconsidered. No, that was ridiculous, she couldn't ask Connie to do that. He was too forgetful, she'd starve. She would just have to ovary up and go into town, and talk to Mikasa. She raised her fist up and adopted a look of steely determination. To town it was!

She'd gotten half way to town before the look of grim determination was replaced by one of absolute terror. Sasha turned around at the nearest lookout spot and sped back home, tail between her legs.

She fled inside the house, screen-door slamming behind her, and headed to the potato bin. Before long she had a nice mess of potatoes frying up. Potatoes! They would give her courage. And so they did.

The next time, she'd gotten a mile from town before her courage ran out and she had to pull over on the side of the road. She decided to play a trick on her mind. She was not, definitely NOT going to the grocery store, where oh god, Mikasa was likely ensconced inside. Instead, she was going to the taquería. Yep, just going to pick up some lunch and go eat with Connie. Not going to see Mikasa at all.

Her palms were sweaty and she was gripping the steering wheel too hard when she turned into Titan Food. Apparently, her mind was easily tricked.

Steely determination. Yes. Pretending she was going into the taco restaurant got her in through the store doors. The sight of Mikasa, customerless, replenishing the plastic bags at the end of the checkout lane, hit her like a ton of bricks. Stomach flutters, heart pounding. Oh, she had it bad.

She forced herself to march up to Mikasa. It was never going to get any better if she avoided it. And she sure as heck wasn't going to be reduced to shopping at the gross store in Yalkell.

When Mikasa turned those iron gray eyes on her, she had to fight to get any sound out at all.

"Soooo...did you get my note?" Sasha asked.

Mikasa continued to restock the bags at her trademark speed.

"What note?"

"W-what...what note? The one with the bread...didn't you eat it?"

"Oh. I gave it to Eren."

Sasha's mouth dropped open.

* * *

Finally! Connie arrives. And don't worry Connie-fans, he's here to stay. Oh, and credit where credit is due: I riff off of _Friends_ a lot. The "homosexual hair" line is from there, and the "are the tomatoes firm" "is the lettuce dirty?" is from the episode where Monica is interviewed by a very creepy guy making innuendos about the food she's preparing.

As always, reviews are loved.


	3. Man Cannot Live on Bread Alone

A/N: Sorry for the late update. This chapter was wrote a while ago, but updating on this site is a bit cumbersome for me. The process is usually as follows: open up password-protected LibreOffice file of fic [this site does not allow me to copy-paste fic]. Save a non-password locked copy [this site can't open locked copies]. Go in to the new copy and find all the HTML code in the doc and delete it, replacing the italicization, bolding, breaks, or whatever format code was there, with Libre's formatting functions [this site doesn't render code]. Upload the document to this site. Update the chapter using the uploaded document. Delete the non-locked copy of the chapter. off my hardrive.

That means that a fic's chapter might be done, but it may not get uploaded here for a while, especially if the chapter is long. I post updates sooner on sites that have a simpler update process for me. I love this site but it doesn't make it easy for me to update.

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Mikasa Ackerman's wrist hurt. It had been hurting for a long time now, with every movement she made with it. It hurt when she went to bed at night, and it hurt when she woke up in the morning. Carpal tunnel syndrome? Probably. She had dug out one her adoptive father's old medical dictionaries and looked it up a few nights ago, and she matched all the symptoms.

She'd been warned, by the old lady who managed the grocery on the day shift, that she needed to pace herself. That inhuman speeds could not be maintained for hours and hours on small, delicate muscles and nerves without damage occurring.

Mikasa hadn't cared then, and she didn't care now, as she shoved gallons of milk and heads of lettuce across the scanner at lightening speed. Her wrists tingled, pain occurred in them, it was all very far away. To go slow was to freeze in place indefinitely, to die of boredom, even pain was better.

To work in a grocery store was a terrible job. It took so short a time to learn how to do _everything_, and then your mind was free, free to wander and roam where it wanted, even if it was simply to the most painful, upsetting recollections it could dredge up. At least the misery passed the time.

She could feel the ache in her wrist, and remember the exact twinges that had woken her up last night. She could offer a receipt to a customer, and remember the snarl on his lips. She could see the manager's disappointment as Jean once again bagged a chemical like bleach with a food item like strawberries, and the exact color of those angry green eyes floated across her mind.

She'd had no reason to suspect anything amiss last night. No reason to think that her world would be tilted once more, if only in the slightest, and in a way it had before, and probably would again.

Mikasa hadn't been groggy with sleep when it happened. The twinges had awoken her, and she'd laid in the dark silently, not wanting to move, not wanting to glance at the red glowing numbers on the alarm clock and see if she only had a few hours more to sleep. Finally she'd kicked off the cloyingly warm blankets and sat up. The glare of the clock let her know that it was only a little past eleven. Good.

She was only in a bra and panties, anything else was intolerable to sleep in while the A/C was broken. Eren might yell at her if he caught her wandering around without any clothes, but her chances of encountering anyone were low. The hallway wasn't visible from any of the other rooms except Eren's bedroom, and he always kept his door closed. It was a shame; his flustered face was pretty cute.

Mikasa ducked into the bathroom with a t-shirt and pair of shorts folded under arm. No reason to deliberately borrow trouble. She shed her lingerie and climbed into the shower stall, twisting the cold water knob. No reason to bother with the hot; the tiny hot water heater in the apartment took forever to spit out hot water, and she didn't plan on being in there that long. Just a quick rinse to sluice off the grime from the grocery store. The feel of the cool water on her face was heavenly. She didn't actually get very dirty as a cashier, but it gave her a grubby feel, touching objects held by many hands, dirty money, wearing the same overly thick and warm clothes for hours and hours while standing in the warmest part of the store.

Finally clean feeling, she towelled off and dressed.

Her stomach was hungry; she hadn't bothered eating when she came home, simply gone straight to bed, tired from working till close. Everything she cooked burned anyway. She didn't know if Eren had gotten home and cooked anything. She swiped at the wet, glistening locks plastered against her skin with a shower comb. Hadn't she brought something home from the grocery store? That didn't make any sense, she never shopped there. Even with a discount she didn't want to be there any longer than she had to, and Eren preferred to do the shopping.

She went, defenseless and unsuspecting into the kitchen. Poking through the nearly empty cupboards, she noticed the bag of cheap, russet potatoes lying on the counter. That brought to mind when that crazy girl had thrown a bag of them at Jean. Her lips quirked up in a smile. She had liked the look of that girl, warm golden-brown eyes and a big goofy grin that made you want to smile back. And she'd brought her something later on...the bread! That was what she'd brought home from Titan Food.

When she met up with Eren on her lunchbreak, she'd left it with him, wrapped in its neat little cloth bag that looked hand-stitched, smelling of good things. Maybe he'd eaten all of it? He was a growing young guy...maybe. When did people stop growing for good?

That didn't stop her from searching for it though. Finally, she thought to look in the trash, thinking he might have thrown the bag away. That would have been a crime; it was a nice bag, and she'd have to return it to the girl who'd given her the bread.

She did find the bag; it was lying on top, with only a dented Pepsi can on top of it. She brushed the can aside, and grabbed the bag's string. She was alarmed at the heft of it; there was still bread inside. Pulling it out, she could see that the entire loaf was still left. Bizarre; had there been something wrong with it?

"Good, you're up."

Mikasa looked up. Eren was standing in the hall doorway. Despite his words, he looked anything but pleased to see her.

"What is it?" she asked quietly.

She was wary, but not particularly surprised. Her brother had a short temper and a tendency to take everything very seriously. Eren walked over to the loaf of bread she'd layed on the counter. He unclenched his fist and let a mangled scrap of paper drift from it down onto the loaf. It looked like a piece of notebook paper.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Don't play the innocent! You know exactly what it is."

"I don't know what it is, Eren."

Eren snatched the paper back up and unfolded it forcefully, almost tearing it in the process.

""I'm love with you. Let's date." he read, nearly spitting the words out.

He looked at her. She looked back, showing as little emotion as ever. If he was hoping for some giveaway, some tell, she wasn't providing it.

"The FUCK, Mikasa?"

"Did you find that with the bread?" she asked.

"Where the fuck else would I have gotten it?"

Her mind was working. She wasn't as sharp or analytical as Armin, but it didn't take much to guess at who had written the note. It had to have been the girl who'd given her the bread in the first place. The girl was in love with her? She'd barely met her!

Meanwhile, Eren was ranting on.

"I should have known you wouldn't give up, this is just like highschool all over again. In fact-"

"Eren-"

"What?"

"I'm not in love with you."

"Ha! That's what you've always said. Once you knew how badly it creeped me out anyway."

"I'm not." she insisted firmly.

"Then who sent this note?" he asked.

"I think it was this girl from the grocery store."

"What's her name?"

"I don't know."

"Uh-huh. Why would this mysterious girl give the note to you then when I go in the store every day?"

"It wasn't meant for you."

"So you're saying that some girl gave you a love note and you just _accidentally_ gave it to me. And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Mikasa asked, irritated.

"Oh maybe because you snuck around and told people you were my girlfriend for _years,_ and tried to scare away any girl or guy who tried to date me, and even tried to enlist Armin to help you..."

"That was only with that one girl, and she would have been terrible for you."

"I couldn't even keep a girlfriend until I was 18! You'd bully them away from me!"

"If they were so easily intimidated, they weren't worthy of you. And besides, you had Annie."

"That's only because you couldn't cow her, because she was the only one who could kick your ass."

"That's not true." Mikasa said.

"She threw you in the river when you tried." Eren said.

Mikasa chose to ignore that embarrassing fact.

"Besides, it was for the best." Mikasa stated.

Eren threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

"It's like talking to a brick wall. How the fuck was keeping me forcibly single a good thing?"

"You're gay." Mikasa pointed out. "It would have been pretty hard on you if you got all attached to a girl before you knew that."

"You just don't even fucking get it. It was not your decision to make. You do not run my fucking life!"

"This is all a simple mistake Eren. You can ask the girl in question-"

"The only mistake was sticking with you! You always have to meddle and try to ruin my life."

He stormed away, back into the hallway. Mikasa could hear his door being thrown open, and things being slammed around. He emerged from the room with a dufflebag under his arm.

"Where are you going?" she asked, as he headed toward the door.

"Away from you."

"Eren!"

The door slammed in her face.

"Eren." she said softly, to the silent apartment around her. "When have I ever been able to bake anything without burning it?"

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Next chapter is already written and should be up soon, once it's edited for this site.

As always, any feedback is appreciated.


	4. The First Date

Thanks everyone who reviewed, faved or followed last chapter. And now, those of you who have been waiting for some Armin/Connie, this is the chapter where it starts coming through :3

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The Dauper Public Library was mostly empty that morning. It was 11 o'clock. All the books had been shelved. Notifications of fines had been put in the mailbox for the postal service to send to their unfortunate recipients. The current periodicals had been updated, the kids' room was clean, there were no inter-library loan requests or other emails.

A singular elderly woman browsed a lingerie site on one of the library's ancient patron computers.

Armin Arlert was a bored man. He couldn't even crack open any of the myriad fascinating books around him. Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink. If he was caught reading on the job (the head librarian, for some reason, liked to frequent the library as a patron on her days off) he probably wouldn't have a job anymore.

He was slumped over the circulation desk, eyes half open, when a short young man with close-shaven hair walked in through the front doors, looking noticeably more energetic than him. Armin perked up instantly.

"Heya, I just want to return these." he said.

"Sure thing!" Armin said.

Gosh, he probably sounded like an idiot.

Connie sat the stack of paperbacks on the desk in front of him. A variety of well-endowed heaving bosoms decorated the worn covers, and, lest the authors be accused of sexism, were equally well-matched by a plethora of strong, muscled tan chests. Lots of poet-sleeved shirts fluttered in the wind.

"So, did you enjoy uh, _T__he Pirate's Bedouin_? Did you like that or _The Yearning Night _better?" Armin asked.

He typically asked patrons if they liked the books they were returning, but he had to admit his motive wasn't guiltless. He wanted to see how the man reacted.

"Uhhh, I'm just returning these for my mother!" Connie said. His face turned red.

"Oh, that's so nice of you." Armin said sweetly.

Armin handed him back his library card.

"Would you like some recommendations this week?" he asked.

"Uhh, actually there was something else I was hoping to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

"See uh, I was wondering if you'd want to go out sometime, maybe get to know each other better..."

"You don't even know my name." Armin pointed out.

"But you know mine!" Connie pointed out quickly. "It's on my card, after all." he grinned in what he hoped was a charming manner (but which actually looked goofishly lecherous).

"Well, mine's on my name plate." Armin said, tapping the metal desk holder with a gold-plated tag bearing the name "Armin Arlert" on it.

"Armin huh? That's kind of a funny name."

"This from a guy named Connie." Armin said, rolling his eyes.

"Heh. Well, now that we've been properly introduced...huh? huh? How about it?" he asked.

"Sure, why not? But you have to take me somewhere I want to go." Armin said.

"Oh anywhere's good." Connie said. He just hoped Armin didn't want to go to a super fancy restaurant or anything.

"Good, I've been wanting to go the Botanical Gardens in Yalkell; they have a desert plants exhibit I've been dying to see."

"...Plants?" Connie asked doubtfully.

"That's not a problem is it?" Armin asked.

"Nope, not at all! I can't wait to go uh, see the cactuses and stuff." Connie said, with forced enthusiasm.

"When would you like to go? I'm off on weekends, and most evenings."

"Are you off this evening?" Connie was never one to needlessly delay gratification.

"Yes. "

The date was on.

* * *

The date was a far better experience than either one of them expected. Armin had assumed that Connie would have zero patience or interest in his more geeky little habits, but even if Connie wasn't an eager devourer of information, he turned out to be curious and interested in new things, even if those new things were cacti.

Connie, for his part, had assumed it would be a dull day of looking at a bunch of ugly cactuses and hearing spiels of unintelligible gobbledygook about plants, and like, photosyntha-whats-it-or-other, but some of the plants were actually pretty frickin' cool, and Armin was perfectly willing to talk about other things, like Connie's work, his family, the tv shows they both followed. They got onto the strangest topics, things that Connie had never really chatted without anyone about before, like how they felt about kangaroos, and whether _The Simple Life_ had a deep, hidden meaning.

In fact, it was going so well, that he figured he could probably get away with a kiss. They were near the _c__oryphantha recurvata__,_ or golden beehive cactus, which in Connie's opinion, looked a lot more like a cluster of prickly boobies than like beehives. He took that as a good omen.

"And so then I told Eren tha-"

Connie cut him off rather abruptly, with his lips. He was still bracing against a slap; you could never tell with the shy, nerdy types. Some of them were really hella wild, others were more uptight, no tongue until the 3rd date types.

Armin apparently was not one of the latter, and didn't mind having his tale about Eren's silly antics cut short. He was a surprisingly take-charge kisser, which Connie was finding he didn't mind at all. Armin was trying to slide a hand up Connie's shirt when some (totally rude, in Connie's opinion) little brat yelled "Ewww, kissing!" from right behind them.

Armin pulled away. Connie looked over his shoulder and spotted the kid, an obnoxious little snot wearing a Shiganshina Braves t-shirt, pointed at them. He flipped the kid the bird.

"Connie." Armin said.

Connie raised his other hand up and flipped the kid a double bird, one for him, and one for Armin, since they'd both been deprived of a smoking hot make-out session next to the booby cactuses.

At that point the kid's mother waded in.

"What did you just do in front of my son?" the large woman with the elegantly styled hair snapped, getting up in Connie's face.

"He started it! The little snot—" Connie protested.

"How _dare_ you?" she yelled.

Loudness, and many more hand gestures and curses were exchanged. Then security came. Connie and the boy's mom were still yelling heatedly in each other's faces, but upon seeing the security guards approaching, the woman abruptly went silent. As the guards neared them, she raised her face slowly. Tears streamed down it, and she whimpered.

"This young man just started cursing, yelling obscenities at me and my son."

"You lying bitch—"

Then Connie and Armin were escorted out and asked to kindly never return to the Yalkell Botanical Gardens.

"Like I'd want to come back here! You people are sick! You see those cactuses? They look like boobs!" Connie shouted angrily, as the security guard dragged him along.

Armin, who had chosen to walk out peaceably under his own power, facepalmed.

Well, that was probably the end of his hot librarian fantasies.

When they got into the car though, Armin started shaking. Connie put his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Connie pulled back.

Tears were streaming down Armin's face, but they were of joy. He actually found what had happened to them funny? Connie couldn't believe his luck. He started the car, and pulled out, heading for the highway back to Dauper.

"That was hilarious." Armin said, once his laughter had subsided.

"Yeah, I guess? Did you see the look on that cow's face when I called her a **** ****ing ****?" Connie asked.

"Yes! But we shouldn't laugh. I mean, all she knew was that you were flipping her son off. She didn't know he was being an obnoxious little shit."

"Hey, librarians can't swear!"

Armin stuck his tongue out at him.

Now that was a distracting sight. A bright flash of pink tongue from that soft, sweet face. So distracting, in fact, that Connie didn't even realize the car was veering off the road until it hit the portion of the shoulder that was grooved to disrupt the vehicle.

"Whoa!" Connie yelped, and steered the car back on course.

"I guess I should be the one driving." Armin said.

"Hey, I'm a perfectly good driver when I don't have hot librarians distracting me."

It was kind of true. Even if he had failed the driving test three times, he was still much better when there weren't cute girls around to distract him with their tongues.

"I'll just have to behave then...till we get back to my place." Armin said coyly.

Connie couldn't believe his ears. He was going to L-U-C-K-Y tonight? Armin was some kind of sex angel sent from heaven. He pushed his foot down on the accelerator; what the hell, everyone did 90 on this road anyway.

"Hey, I hope you don't rush like this to get to the good part all the time." Armin said.

He'd never gotten back to Dauper so fast before though. Connie had to drop back down to 30mph once they were within the town limits, and he felt every second keenly. He kept glancing over at Armin as he drove, as if trying to figure out some puzzle.

"Eyes on the road Connie. Do I have something on my face or something?"

No, Connie was just waiting for Armin to say "Psych! Like I'd screw a loser like you." or something but it never happened.

Connie parked his mother's blue sedan on the side of the quiet residential street outside the little house Armin shared with his grandfather. It was all Connie could do to not run to the porch, but it wouldn't do to look too eager, and besides, Armin had the key. So he followed Armin (who seemed as calm as if they were going in for brunch) sedately into the bungalow.

Armin flicked the lights on in the foyer.

"Oh, I guess I should ask...is your grandpa home?" Connie asked.

"Would I be bringing you in here if he was?"

"Uhhh...I guess not?"

"He's out of town for a Veteran's gathering in Chlorba, so we have the place to ourselves." He was smiling.

Connie followed him into the living room, stopping when Armin did. He turned toward him, and Connie expected him to offer him coffee, or even wine (Armin was a classier kind of girl than he usually dated). Armin though, apparently shared Connie's penchant for rushing to the good stuff, and his loathing of delayed gratification.

Armin wrapped his arms around Connie's waist and kissed him furiously. Connie was taken slightly aback; he hadn't expected his sweet nerdy little librarian chick to be such an animal. Lead? She'd never give him the chance.

Then again... as Armin shoved him onto the couch and slipped a hand down his jeans to grab a handful of skinny, firm cheek, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Armin was leading him only to good places, and he was oh so willing and ready to follow...

His t-shirt had gotten off somehow (damn, where did a librarian learn those skills?) and his pants were on their way, when the phone in his back pocket starting ringing and vibrating.

Connie unglued himself from Armin's lips while he dug it out and checked the screen.

Sasha Braus...of course. He'd had his phone turned off most of the day, needing complete focus to egg himself up to asking Armin out, and then afterwards when he'd called her, she hadn't been answering his calls. He had sent her a quick text before he'd left for Yalkell though, and now she must want the details. There was no way either he or she could have guessed that he'd get invited to stay over. He hit cancel and the phone stopped ringing. His eyebrows rose in surprise as he looked at the screen.

"49 missed calls from Sasha Braus...Jesus Christ. I don't get service in Yalkell, she must have been calling the whole time."

"Just turn it off." Armin said.

"I don't know, maybe it's an emergency." Connie said, doubtfully.

Armin had no doubts. He grabbed the phone out of Connie's hand and pressed the power down button. The phone went silent, and he laid it on the coffee table.

"Now, back to where we were..." he said, smirking.

A clattering rattle resounded from the front door as someone pounded on it with all their strength. Connie could see it bouncing on its hinges.

"What is it _now_!?" Armin growled, aggravated.

He climbed off of Connie, aggravated. "I haven't been laid in four years, whoever that is better have a damned good reason for this."

He went into the foyer and threw the door open. Connie got up from the couch and trailed after him.

"What is it?" Armin snapped at the person standing on the porch.

Connie came up beside him. The porch light glinted off the tear-stained face of one Sasha Braus, town idiot and his best friend. Her eyes were red and her mouth quivered.

"Connie." she whimpered.

"Sasha, what the hell happened?" he asked, stepping forward and putting an arm around her. She burst into tears again. He ushered her inside. Armin huffed, but accepted that his chances of getting any now were zero, and went into the little kitchen to get drinks.

Connie led her to the couch, snatching his t-shirt up quickly and throwing it on while she sat down. Armin handed them both cans of Coke, and then sat down in the armchair across from them.

"It..." Sasha started. Her lip wobbled. She stared at the unopened soda can in her hands. Armin rolled his eyes and Connie shot him a dirty look.

"C'mon, spit it out Sasha. It can't be that mad."

"It's Mikasa...She's really mad and she says she never wants to see me again!" Sasha burst out.

"She's that mad over the bread?"

"Yes! I mean, no, but..." She buried her face in her hands.

"She didn't get the bread. I mean, she did, but she didn't even open it, let alone eat it."

"And?"

"And..." Sasha gasped, as if it were too painful to think about.

"And...she gave it to Eren." Sasha said, as if that explained everything.

"So?" Armin said.

"So..." Sasha groaned. "So the bread had a note with it saying I loved her and wanted to go on a date with her!"

"I still fail to see the problem." Armin said.

"Uhh, me either...I don't get it. Unless Eren's jealous that you like his sister?" Connie wondered.

"No! He doesn't know it was from me. I didn't sign it!" Sasha said.

"Oh. Ohhhhh." Armin said.

"What? I still don't get it." Connie said.

"I'm going to chalk that up to you not being that familiar with Eren and Mikasa's situation, okay?" Armin said.

"Sure, whatever. Just explain it."

"Well, I'm just guessing, but I would say that Eren assumed the bread was a gift from Mikasa, and that the note was from her as well."

"And?"

"And Eren is probably the one guy that does not desire Mikasa's affections. He's skeeved out by it."

"Why?"

"He feels that they're family, and it's not appropriate." Armin said.

He looked at Sasha, who had drawn her knees up to her chin and was hiding her face.

"Was I right about all that, Sasha?" he asked.

She nodded mutely, miserable.

"I don't see a reason why this can't be patched up with a few clarifying words to the right people. And I definitely don't see a reason why our date should have been interrupted." Armin said.

"Jeez, Armin, lay off her will you? She's really upset."

Sasha unfolded herself and looked up at them.

"You don't understand. She's really mad at me. They had a _huge_ fight."

"They'll make up in their own time. They always do." Armin said.

"You really think so?" Sasha asked hopefully.

"I know so." Armin said firmly.

Sasha brushed at the few remaining tears on her face with the heel of her hand. Connie tossed her a tissue box firmly ensconced in a knitted pink cozy, and she dried her eyes.

"Oh, um, sorry about ruining your guys's date."

"It's fine." Armin said.

"Yeah, the night is still young." Connie seconded, winking.

"Heh." Sasha said, looking cheerful once more. "I guess I'd better get going and let you two continue _getting acquainted,_ if you know what I mean."

"Did you bring a condom Connie-"

"GET OUT!" Connie roared.

Armin stifled a laugh. It was a hilarious sight, seeing the short, skinny bald man shoving the protesting girl out by force. Sasha even grabbed hold of the doorframe and wouldn't let go, and Connie had to pry her fingers off one by one.

Armin could still her hear her giggling on her way to her car as Connie slammed the door behind her.

"I didn't, actually." Connie said, sheepishly.

"Didn't what?" Armin asked, puzzled.

"Bring condoms."

Armin stood up and walked over to the hall closet. Connie could hear him rustling around with something.

"I had no idea how big your dick was so I even got Magnums."

"Jesus Christ Armin."

"Usually guys don't start calling me God till they have their pants off." Armin joked.

He tossed the boxes on the couch and strode over to Connie.

"Now, where were we..."

Where they had been was semi-undressed, with Armin's tongue so far down Connie's throat he was practically licking his liver, and Armin seemed eager to get there again.

Smirking seductively he lowered himself into Connie's lap. Connie kind of wished it was the other way around. Armin was heavier than him. Still, it wasn't as bad as that time he'd slept with Reiner's sister. Who'd turned out to be Reiner in a dress. That had been a wild party...Armin was a better kisser than Reiner too, not that he'd ever say that aloud. Armin was more patient and slow this time, careful explorations and tender nibbling. His hands left only the most gentle pressure on Connie's chest. He wondered why Armin had changed his approach. He didn't mind it though. Sasha's tears had acted like a bucket of cold water on his libido. It was hard to want to pound someone into the mattress (or in this case, couch) after seeing your best friend that upset. He liked Armin, a lot, but would he have spent hours crying and upset if Armin had shot him down at the library?

Connie ran his fingers through Armin's hair, kind of regretting that he'd shaved his own head recently, denying Armin the chance to do the same. It didn't matter, he supposed. His hair was nothing like Armin's: it was all spiky and coarse, nothing like the cool silkiness of Armin's gold locks.

Connie broke off from the kiss after a moment. He was still thinking about Sasha.

"Hey Armin..."

Armin groaned. "What?"

Connie could see he was trying to be patient with him, but Armin still looked annoyed.

"You really think Eren and Mikasa will make up soon?"

"Pfft. No."

"What?!" Connie pushed Armin off of him.

A look of anger flashed across Armin's face, but he decided to let it pass. The sooner they were done with the tiresome Sasha issue the sooner they could get back to business.

"When Eren gets a hair on his ass over something, he never lets up. There's no way he's just going to forgive her now that he's pissed." he explained.

"Then why the hell did you lie to Sasha?"

"To get rid of her, obviously."

"What?" Connie looked at Armin like he was out of his mind. "What the hell, Armin?"

Armin felt just the tiniest bit defensive. He was sure he hadn't done anything wrong, but Connie's anger was off-putting.

"Oh come on," he said, trying to laugh it off. "You wanted rid of her too. She was interrupting us. _She_ was kind of rude, if anything."

Connie stared at him. "Didn't you see how upset she was?"

"Um." How had Connie Springer of all people, the town igarbage man/i of all things, managed to make him feel like his back was against the wall?

"That's...not our problem?" he tried.

Connie shook his head in disgust.

"I thought you were a nice girl, but you're just an asshole." he said.

He snatched his keys up off the table.

"W...Where are you going?" Armin asked, shook up by quick turn of events.

"I'm going to see Sasha."

Armin watched him storm out of the small, over-decorated house where Armin had lived for most of his life. Connie slammed the door so hard behind him that the key rack by the door, wood exquisitely carved by Armin's grandfather years ago, fell from the wall and clattered to the floor.

"I'm not a girl." was all Armin could think to say, staring blankly after him.

How had things gone so wrong so quickly?

* * *

All feedback is loved ^_^


	5. Po-tay-tos

A warm wind blew the desiccated fall leaves across Connie's path as he left Armin's house. A frown marred his usually happy face.

The night was young, for all the good it would do him. He would have a hard time falling asleep that night, angry and disappointed. Even worse, tomorrow was a collection day so he had to be up before dawn. What a rotten day.

* * *

The bell on the door of Sasha's Homestyle Cafe tinkled as Connie walked through the door. Sasha's restaurant was the only one Connie had ever been in that had a bell on the door; hadn't anyone ever told Sasha that that was more of a store thing?

He should some time. They were best friends. He supposed the good food made up for it. With a heavy heart, he let himself be led by the hostess to a booth. He didn't see Sasha anywhere, but the hostess was sure to let her know he was there. He came in every morning after his shift was over, and Sasha usually took a break from working in the kitchen to come have coffee with him (and quite often, a huge plate of fried potatoes or hashbrowns).

Surely enough, he hadn't been tapping his hands idly for more than a minute before she bounced into the seat across from him, nearly dropping the serving tray laden high with coffee and potatoes in the process. He had once asked her if she ate anything other than potatoes for breakfast; she had promptly explained that her time with wasn't breakfast. Breakfast was earlier. 11:00 o'clock was "Potato Snack" time.

"Connie!"

"Hey, Sasha." he said, grabbing a plate of hashbrowns.

"How'd your date go? Did you get lucky? Tell me all about it!"

Connie eyed her warily.

"Not so great." he said.

Sasha put her hand over her mouth, covering the grin she couldn't hold back. She thought she had a good idea what had Connie so depressed.

"Oh yeah? What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing really. Armin is just, well I had the wrong idea about her." Connie said.

Sasha leaned forward eagerly. "Yeah?"

"I just thought she was this really sweet, nice girl. And she's not."

Sasha frowned. What the hell had Armin done? Sasha had figured Armin's dick would be the problem, not Armin being a dick.

"She didn't do anything that bad, but you know, if you spend one day with a person, and they're already lying, and being selfish... I just can't imagine how much worse is in store if you stick around them." Connie continued. "It's a major red flag on a first date."

Sasha leaned over the table and patted her best friend on the back.

"You're better off without her buddy." Sasha said. "Besides, I didn't tell you this, 'cause I thought it would be super funny to see how it ended, but Armin's a guy anyway."

Connie just stared at her. "What was that last bit?"

"Armin? Is a guy." She repeated solemnly.

Connie shook his head in disbelief, smiling for the first time since leaving Armin's house.

"I don't believe you, but you're a great friend for trying to cheer me up."

"What? I'm not lying!" Sasha insisted, looking slightly outraged.

"Yeah? How would you know?" Connie asked, laughing.

"His grandpa and him come in the restaurant all the time. His grandpa's always like 'Look at my cute grandson, can you believe he's single?'. It's really cute how he tries to play matchmaker. I'd be more flattered if he didn't do the same thing with Fat Mildred, but..."

Sasha was so sweet. Just being reminded of the lengths his friend would go to to make him feel better did make him feel better. Once she had finished rambling about Armin's manliness and a ham she suspected one of the waitresses of stealing (Connie suspected she'd just ate it herself and forgot) he finally managed to get a word in edgewise.

"You know what Armin was lying about?" Connie asked.

"What?" Sasha responded, mouth full of an impressively large wad of hashbrowns.

"Mikasa and Eren. Apparently they take forever to make up when one of them gets pissed at the other." Connie said. "Usually Armin has to play peacemaker. She just said they'd patch it up on their own quickly so she could get rid of you last night. "

Sasha gulped and took a drink of water. "That sucks."

"What? You don't care?"

"Of course I care. But it's a new day Connie. Today, nothing can stand in my way!"

"What a relief." Connie said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm serious!" she said. She snatched his plate, still half full of food, away from him and began devouring the remaining potatoes.

"I'm not paying for that, you know."

"Of course not. It's on the house, like usual."

It didn't take her very long to finish off that plate either. Connie just watched her, still slightly amazed at his best friend's whirlwind like ability to make food disappear, even after years of watching it. She never seemed to gain weight either.

"Well, I'm going to get this whole thing straightened out. Don't be too mad at Armin, either. I was totally cockblocking you last night (sorry) and he had a right to be pissed."

"If you say so, Sasha."

"I do say so."

She rose.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Eren."

"It's 11 in the morning, you're about to get a lunch rush." Connie said.

"Mina can take care of it. It's mostly clubs and soup, easy stuff on the lunch menu."

She gave him a quick peck on the forehead before leaving. Maybe stuff like that was half the town thought they were dating, and he found it so hard to find a girlfriend. Or maybe it was being so short. Who knew?

Connie signaled for the waitress to bring more coffee, and something to eat that wasn't potatoes.

* * *

Sasha had slept easy that night before, secure in her belief that she would right all in the morning. So she was bright-eyed and perky as she began the formidable task of winning over her love.

Her first obstacle was at the Dauper Fire Department. After making her wait half an hour for the morning drills to be finished, the station's captain, an incredibly short guy with an undercut, was untalkative and unhelpful. She couldn't get any information out of him other than that apparently, there was no one named Eren employed there, period. Frowning, she left the station and headed to her car. She could try the phonebook to find him, but most people she knew didn't even have a landline these days. She should have pried the Jaeger's cellphone numbers from Armin last night.

Sasha was just about to start her car and head over to the library when a shadow fell across her face. She looked up. A cute redhaired girl in a firefighter pants and a white t-shirt tapped at her car window. Sasha rolled down the glass.

"Hi, can I help you?" she asked.

A month ago she would have been overjoyed to a have a random sexy firefighter chick knocking on her window, but these days she was a one-woman woman, and she had time only for her mission...for Mikasa.

"I heard you asking about Eren in the station." the girl explained.

"Do you know him?" Sasha asked.

"Oh yeah. He used to work here. He was a nice kid, shame it didn't work out."

"What happened?"

"That I can't tell you. The Captain would have my hide." the girl giggled.

Sasha rolled her eyes. The girl was deliberately teasing her with the information. Luckily, she didn't care. If Jaeger had gotten up and did a striptease on the firemen's pole for their Captain, she wouldn't care. She just wanted to know how to get ahold of him so she could set things right with Mikasa.

"I just want to get in touch with him."

"What do you want to get in touch with Eren for?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, you could be some kind of stalker, or something." the girl said. "Though, come to think of it, I can't think of any stalker that could get through that sister of his." she perked up. "So I guess it's okay if I give you his address."

Yes! Paydirt! Sasha pumped her fist in victory.

"You know those apartments next to the show?"

Sasha grabbed a spare napkin and began scribbling down directions.

"So why did Eren get sacked anyway?" Sasha asked.

"Inappropriate use of the station's sliding pole, to say the least." the girl said, winking.

Sasha whistled.

* * *

The apartments next to Dauper's one movie theater were old but still respectable. The small brick and siding building was one Sasha had been in a few times before-her old classmate Hannah and her husband had lived there briefly, before deciding to move out to the country.

She found the Jaegers' apartment immediately-it was the first apartment inside of the entrance. Sasha gulped. She had thought she'd have more time to work up her nerve. Eren Jaeger-she knew so little about him, but so much of her future happiness depended on him. If he wouldn't believe her-and forgive Mikasa-then Mikasa wouldn't forgive her. And would never date her. And they'd never ride off into the sunset in Sasha's old but reliable Buick.

She knocked on the door, almost hoping he wasn't home. She thought Armin had implied he was adopted, but she still pictured a tall, ripped half-Asian guy with a cold gray stare that could pin you to a wall-or send annoying would-be suitors of his sister running home crying.

So she was completely surprised when the door opened to reveal a guy about her height, with warm brown hair and vivid green eyes. The grouchy expression on his face was right in keeping with her imaginings.

"Uh, hi."

"Hello."

"Eren, right?"

"Can I help you with something?" he asked.

"I'm Sasha. You don't know me, but I need to clear up a misunderstanding or two..."

Eren cursed. "Has that bouncer been giving out my address again?"  
He started to close the door on her, but she quickly stuck her booted foot in the way.

"It's about Mikasa."

The irritation left his face, replaced with curiosity.

"What about my sister?"

"Well you see, there was some bread that Mikasa gave to you..."

Seeing his eyebrows draw down and a frown mar his face once more, Sasha hastened to explain.

"It wasn't from her! I mean, not in the way that you think. Someone gave it to her at the grocery store, she didn't realize there was a note attached."

His eyebrows narrowed even more.

"So this bread was meant for her. Everywhere we go, there's always some creep who gets infatuated with her. Bugging her, insisting she go on dates with them, giving her presents...Who was it this time? Is it you? You want to date my sister?"

Intense green eyes stared intently at Sasha. She drew back from the force of it. Date this guy's sister? He looked like he'd throw her through a building if she said yes.

"Er, I mean no, of course not...that bread wasn't from me..." She struggled to think of an answer, sweating under the force of that glare.

"It was from uh, Jean! Yeah it was Jean. He's the bagger at her store you know."

Eren was already turning away, grumbling. "Workplace harassment, too. Just wait till I get ahold of this guy."

"Wait, wait! He's not a bad guy. He's a real sweet guy-tall too, handsome. And uh, you know..."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the tip-off, Sasha." he said, moving to close the door once more.

"Hey! Wait, that's not all!"

"Yeah?"

"That bread uh, wasn't meant for Mikasa! He just wanted her to pass it along to you. He has a real thing for green eyes, and men in uniform...he just couldn't resist you."

There! She was going to make it out of this hallway alive, and she'd done something nice for Jean-he really did sound quite taken with this Eren guy. Eren's expression darkened, popping her delusionally happy thought bubble. "And she didn't tell me that because she didn't want me to get a boyfriend." he said.

"Nooooo...I'm sure that's not it." Sasha said frantically. "I mean, no offense but it sounds like you weren't exactly willing to listen to her explanation."

His expression softened. "That is true, I guess. I just assumed the worst."

Sasha nodded vigorously.

"You wouldn't happen to have that Jean guy's phone number, would you?"

"Sure do!" she whipped out her cellphone and let him copy the number from the contact list.

"Don't be afraid to send him a text some time-with these shy guys, you have to take the initiative sometimes, you know?" she said.

He nodded, smiling. "Thanks Sasha-I guess I'll see you around."

"Seeya!" she said, and then fled the apartment building before she could dig herself in any deeper.

Hey, it might work out though, right? Maybe if Jean hit it off with Eren, Eren would be grateful to her for helping him find a boyfriend...and wouldn't tear her apart limb from limb for having the audacity to date his sister.


End file.
